警訊

前夜在家吃飯﹐看了警訊"色情網上游戲"案件重演﹐差不多笑到我噴飯。不是沒有同情心﹐但也驚嘆果然世界無奇不有﹐亦發現自己無資格在無聊人中稱王。加上那種有如幼稚園教師的傍白﹐帶給你以下經典﹐約於以下片中13分15秒出現。請大家如果要以身試法﹐也切勿如此低能(雙方)。若要人不知﹐吾好太低B!

http://www.rthk.org.hk/rthk/tv/police_magazine/20060624.ram

出貓用品

剛剛新聞報導﹐上海什麼公考期間﹐在試場附近的文具店有先進的出貓用品發售。其實出貓的用品先不先進﹐也改變不了這千古陋習﹐難道在古代就個個謙謙君子嗎?作斃﹐就是考試制度的副產品﹐請槍﹐盜卷﹐竊聽﹐千篇一律就是人那種不顧一砌也要受到認同的心理。考試其實不求分數的﹐相信是少之又少﹐因為社會已經把考試等同了學識和進入高薪厚職的捷徑﹐而且教育也催商業化﹐大家也感覺到過教育的假值不菲吧。既然社會已經制造了一種錯誤的概念和價值﹐又還投訴什麼在捷徑上走捷徑的人呢?相信十分後悔的人﹐不是沒有好好的讀書的人﹐因為他們早就放棄了。傷心的是沒跟已經畢業一班一起作弊而達到目的的﹐又堅持好學的書呆子吧。百歲狀元﹐不及十八探花罷!

喇沙

昨日路過母校的網站﹐經過一串不是十分用者友善的界面後﹐看到了幾將舊照。真的是十年人事幾番新﹐本來以為那種精神是不死長存的﹐可是又在不知不覺間的沖淡了﹑消磨了﹐不單是朱容不再﹐雕欄玉砌也不復﹐看到幾張眼熟的地方的相片﹐心底又是別有一番滋味﹑觸動。建築很多時候也要建在殘忍的破壞之上﹐是生命的真諦﹐是改變不了的事實。記得小學時已經聽過早在當年重建中學校舍的時候﹐有好幾個神父在舊址拆卸時心疼得當場斃命。人就是對過去有一種放不下的執著吧?一草一木﹐一磚一石﹐也充滿了回憶。當中也留下不少記印﹐血肉也有的 - 不是誇張﹐小學的大樓梯曾經向我的鼻子挑戰﹐理所當然的﹐還是我敗下陣來。如今小學是怎麼樣的﹐我沒有看過﹐但是舊的學校也已搬到了心上。不知雷自強禮堂和音樂室的冤魂是否已得到安息呢?還是會世世代代的充斥著學園?校務處隔鄰的博物室內的老虎又如何?

一刻間也有激動的想知道一切﹐每個老師還好嗎?那幾張為我篆刻打下基礎的書桌又結果如何?我卻就是暗裏知道要放棄追尋﹐很多人的上半生也在創造歷史﹐而卻費更多的下半生去回味上半生。不是不該尊重歷史﹐而是別忘了向前走的道路。另外或思:其實結局也已為每人寫定了﹐祗記掛向前走著﹐做人也不是太辛苦一點嗎? 可能是吧!不過我仍然想踏到更多的可能之上﹐也不是要制造什麼歷史﹐也不是要留下什麼痕跡。卻是要以有窮匱之年﹐追覓無邊際之事﹐正是庸人自擾﹐知其不可為而為罷。對於這個經過了十一年寒暑的地方﹐一次是寫不完的﹐有機會才繼續吧!

「吾生也有涯﹐而知也無涯。以有涯隨無涯﹐殆已！已而为知者，殆而已矣！為善無近名，為惡無近刑，缘督以為經，可以保身，可以全生，可以養親，可以盡年。」《莊子‧養生》

家庭價值

昨天順道逛了狂兄之弟陶照之 Blog site﹐見他們關係挺好的﹐很是羨慕。其實自己和弟弟的關係也不算差﹐但是見面就說過不停﹐不見就幾年也得兩句寒喧。可能就是隔籬飯香的道理吧﹐總是覺得自己的家庭有點怪怪的。在過去的幾個月﹐就算是老媽打電話過來﹐也是催促我快點工作﹐別要閒著。其實每個家庭也有自己的一套核心價值罷?而我之所以很多時能採取中庸之道﹐可能是生於兩個極端之中的關係﹐無論對人對錢﹐我父母也各走異端﹐對我又各有要求。近年才發覺﹐無論是對人處世﹐甚至是暴躁霸道的一面﹐全部都有著爸媽的影子。教育﹐其實也是人性的復製吧!
所以 - 突然想到 - 世界是必然性的走向滅亡。有教育的生得少﹐沒教養的生得多。文革﹐聖戰等都是人性戰勝理智的最好證明。加上利益為上的風氣﹐唉﹐也不用說了。

哈!由對想起弟弟的思維﹐走到世界滅亡﹐武斷了點﹐不過這就是人性吧?性本善﹐性本惡﹐性本無﹐性本愛... 可能這些也是人自己一相情願的想法﹐難道在現代社會唯一可以做的便是賺錢安身立命嗎?

後記:又特然想起一個在加拿大的電腦教授﹐一有空檔便提到他的女兒﹐簡直有點像‘鋼煉’中那煩人的父親。他有次提到﹐在他的家中﹐女兒(約十歲)是不能看電視的﹐除了他選擇過的節目外﹐連新聞她也不能看。他認為社會上的人也習慣了暴力﹐以至對暴力血腥失去了本能性上的恐懼。下課後﹐我特地走去和他討論這個問題﹐我問這樣的做法﹐不是給她創造了一個虛擬的現實嗎? 而且她總需要有一天接觸到這社會﹐暴力也會在校園之中透過﹐會不會祗是令到她他日更難接受現實?溫室玫瑰﹐在天然的環境中稍有風雨﹐便枯萎下來。他也同意那是將來的一個隱憂﹐但是作為父親的﹐卻祗有在認為自己還有能力去保護她的時候﹐盡心盡力的去保護她了。結果﹐討論還是沒有結果﹐在沉寂之中結束了。

夢 Dream is a leisure of life

發覺原來人真的是有時間才可有資格去發夢, 小時候喜歡發夢﹐因為那不現實中就是那麼的真實﹐可惜能記下來的不多。姑且暫時不說生理上的夢﹐不說什麼預言或寓意﹐他日或可記錄幾宗有趣(或痛苦) 的 deja vu。在上半年的勞動生活中﹐過著做﹑食﹑做﹑睡的呆鈍生活﹐發現為何有些人沒有夢﹐睡覺的時間也不夠﹐不要說夢想﹐就是夢也是種奢華的事。最近閒下來的我開始發夢﹐雖然明明知道那是夢﹐但是還是有很多想不到的情節會發生。譬如說我在同一個夢中見到一個緊閉但可自由出入的門﹐連風也帶動著廳中的小吊燈。在我身後也是門﹐我沒有進入那房間﹐但我就知到內面是個黑洞﹐一個抑止了的黑洞﹐沒有吸力﹐但就可以方便的把訊息傳送到它的中心再轉送到更遠的地方。

說起來﹐這種感覺也很難形容﹐知道身在夢中﹐知道自己是自己﹐但不知道在何處﹐也不知道會跟著有什麼人和事。可能我比較霸道﹐沒有夢是害怕的﹐就是有-腦子可以本能的控制著夢的發展。所以我相信人最接近神的時間就是在夢中﹐不是身體距離的接近﹐而是說夢中人有最近神的能力-可創造﹐可毀滅﹐可增可減。哈!如果幾千年前有一個像我這般的人﹐寫下了他的夢 ‘In the beginning I created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was without shape and empty, and darkness was over the the surface of the watery deep, but the spirit of me was moving over the surface of the water. I said, "Let there be light." And there was light!’ 不知千百年後會對世界造成什麼影響呢?又有誰能說昨夜可能已有千秋萬世在我一夢中活過滅過。痴人說夢﹐有點Descarte的意味!

Bog People

正因狂人兄之投訴﹐便四出搜尋不同的 Blog 系統﹐期間打漏了個 L 字﹐結果就無意找到這些沼澤中的臭皮囊。圖片是 BC200-300 左右被吊死的人。不死還需死﹐如果這人幸福的百年歸老﹐可能屍體便沒呆在湖沼中千年。幸福是不易被察覺的﹐留下如何深刻﹐也會被那個幸福的人帶走。如果沒有文字﹐可能就連幸福是什麼也會有天被遺忘。痛苦的烙印卻是哪麼深刻﹐在自然﹐在暴政﹐人實實在在的就是這麼渺小。

www.archaeology.org

Unity

Human's grasp of reality is in form of millions of black and white, right and wrong; but all these comparative qualities and standards are under a different set of measurements. We grew up learning under a certain set of standards and goals, our judgement are biased from the moment we're granted life. The things we can see, hear, feel are all limited within a certain boundary.

Such as beauty is only in the eyes of the beholder, so are all other standards. When these set of standards are cross between two people and put into a test, all sorts of probability are bounded to develop. Leading to a more complicated result when the participants of such crossings increase. When two groups are heated up, their sanity diminish as the measurements of morality becomes blurrer.

A series of questions in my mind: Does it always have to be right or wrong? If there is a right or wrong? If buddism is asking us to relieve ourselves from the standards and see the standards from all others? How far can we let these standards vary? Then where do reality stand? Is morality only fable to keep people being nice? Heck, I guess these can one lead to other and go on forever.

Answers are for those who seek. Seek, and thou shalt find. But for this moment, I will have tea.

War

written as a reply to a whole long series of mindless squabble over Iraq War:People try to sound wise - to make reason out of what happened - to pull out history, correct or else from all source - to make logic out of this nonsense.

The fact is neither side being foolish, or stupid, for the truth is right in front of everyone's eyes. Everyone wants to accept the truth so they take in the pieces of events which they think is easier to digest. Then they reform the reason and logic behind the whole event, recreate the event piece by piece into a form which they think is more creditable. We human need to find a faith, a reason for death. As of those so many who died before us or whose whence after, we seek faith from God, from a higher being, or an intellegent leader.
People choose sides, to find a place for themselves to hide, to see this whole event from where it make sense. Choosing carefully trying to be on the right side, and will defend their little piece of sanctuary where they think they must be standing on the ultimate truth. We all know there's nothing but one truth. Is it?

Sorry, my fellow lads, war in history never make sense, wars are from hate, greed, mistake and all sorts of unforgivable events that link together. To those who have loss anyone in this chaotic event, I offer my most sincere condolence.

People are then bring back together with memories, with grieve, with anger...... and in the end history will repeat itself. So my advice is, my fellow human, believe what you like, hate whoever you want, those who gain from the event are not likely to be punished until (if there is a) judgement day, and those who were killed will most likely to suffer for no reason but for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Accept it, it's fate, it's life, it's God's mysterious ways, name it whatever you like.

Decide what to do with your life, that's the important part. Sometimes in life, when we see mistakes, and live through them, it's not necessary to find a logical reason nor a sound explaination. However large or small the event is, we might not gain anything from it, might not even grew wiser after it. The important thing is how to retain your dignity and sanity after the event. How to walk out with everything intact.

Choose what to do with your life.

閒人閒語

最近其實是閒得發慌﹐但是總像忙著﹐二十四小時也不夠用。倉海兄問我近來忙什麼﹐自己一時間也答不出來﹐那麼究竟為什麼自己總是忙著呢?

煲戲﹐煲動畫﹐煲電視劇﹐練字擺棋看書剔圖章﹐行街食飯﹐執屋煮飯。不如列一列自己磋砣了些什麼吧!

戲: XMen3, Da Vinci, Collateral, Keeping Mum, Grimm's Brother, 春田花花同志會, Saw2, Hostel, Fun with Dick and Jane, Meet the Fockers, Scary Movie 4, 藍宇﹐ Firewall, ...

動漫: 怪物﹐火影忍者﹐天地無用﹐從今天起做魔王﹐學園天堂﹐鋼煉電影﹐Final Fantasy VII 電影﹐名偵探柯南 360-380集, ...

打機: Final Fantasy XII, Colossus, Radiata Stories, Tomb Raider, Onimusha, Fatal Frame 3, Hitman 2, 絕體絕命都市2

電視劇: 高貧滿座﹐潮州大狀﹐鋁窗吾易做﹐火母涼瓜﹐Supernatural 等

書: Da Vinci Code﹐Angels and Demons﹐A sight for sore eyes, The Safe House, A Certain Justice, Goth(乙一)﹐ 學日語書類﹐吳清源名局精粹﹐ 中盤絕招﹐管子(沒多看﹐就是練毛筆抄抄字)

食物: 雖然很多﹐但滿意的是... 日式炸豬扒﹐雜錦味噌拉面﹐手打意粉﹐香煎魚柳配 Lingonberry 及 Brown Ham Bechamel,.....同時由於這原故﹐也要抽時間出來做做運動﹐ 好天去沙灘﹐間中飲飲酒。

還有很多忘記的了﹐和很多色情網/影像吧! 哈! 退休的樣子。
死了﹐原來我已很有變了一個師奶的感覺。很有玩物喪志的意味﹐也是時間修心養性了。
不過也很開心﹐一次過發泄了之前工作的壓力。

剔圖章:以下幾個﹐除了’知足常樂‘是以前的﹐其它也是近來玩著玩著。
圖