裸體午餐

剛看了91年產的電影"Naked Lunch", 非常另類的電影﹐很迷幻的感覺。由David Cronenberg 依據William S. Burroughs的書(曾在美國被禁)作藍本攝製。看看影評﹐多數也說是沉迷毒品的年代﹐但自己看完後反而覺得和毒品無太大的關係。無論是黃粉﹑黑粉﹑黑膏﹐甚至外星腦汁﹐怎樣看也不像簡簡單單令人迷幻的毒品﹐而可以是人世間許多令人沉迷的事物。而當中最毒的﹐就是無法令人自拔的思想﹐要戒掉黃色的殺蟲粉嘛? 慢慢揉合黑色的粉末﹐從而轉換﹐你看不到改變﹐但改變就是會自然的取而代之。記得自己有試過把自己的陋習轉移過嗎?

自己﹐昆蟲﹐毒梟﹐每個角色或多或少也是某種醒覺﹐或某種沉迷﹐有些片段看過後也不清楚是否還埋伏了些更抽像的寓意﹐因為當中帶著些不知是否被鋪排的凌亂感。我想﹐遲些還需要看多次﹐才能肯定有沒有遺漏了一些甚麼訊息。我﹐真的是在做選擇嗎?

下面第一段對話﹐只是一開場的對白﹐已警戒了你這不是一齣普通戲。當然﹐也有不少人看過後說這套電影是無法理解的垃圾。至於下面第二段的故事﹐是用來送給不喜歡的人。因為世界正是太多這種人了。(呠~~~~)

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Hank:"They can either paint it, or draw it, or write it down
and then pass it on to somebody.
They read what you're saying, and then they reexperience.
That's the only connection you have with that, man.
So you can't rewrite... 'cause to rewrite is to deceive and lie...
and you betray your own thoughts.
To rethink the flow and the rhythm
and the tumbling out of the words...
is a betrayal.
And it's a sin, Martin.
It's a sin."

Martin:
"I don't accept your, uh...
Catholic interpretation of my compulsive, uh... necessity to rewrite
every single word at least 200 times.
Guilt is -Thanks.
Guilt is the key, not sin.
Guilt 're not writing the best that I can.
Guilt 're not, uh, considering everything from every possible angle.
Balancing everything."

Hank: "Well, how about guilt re-censoring your best thoughts?
Your most honest, primitive, real thoughts...
because that's what your laborious rewriting amounts to, Martin."

Martin:"Is rewriting really censorship, Bill?
Because I'm completely fucked if it is."

Bill:"Exterminate all rational thought.
That is the conclusion I have come to."

Martin:"What is the man talking about? I'm being serious."

Hank:"So is he."

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Did I ever tell you about the man
who taught his asshole to talk?

His whole abdomen would move up and down,
you dig, farting out the words.
It was unlike anything I ever heard.
Bubbly, thick, stagnant sound.
A sound you could smell.
This man worked for the carnival,you dig?
And to start with it was
like a novelty ventriloquist act.
After a while, the ass started talking on its own.
He would go in without anything prepared...
and his ass would ad-lib and toss the gags back at him every time.
Then it developed sort of teethlike...
little raspy incurving hooks and started eating.
He thought this was cute at first and built an act around it...
but the asshole would eat its way through
his pants and start talking on the street...
shouting out it wanted equal rights.
It would get drunk, too, and have crying jags.
Nobody loved it.
And it wanted to be kissed,
same as any other mouth.

Finally, it talked all the time,
day and night.
You could hear him for blocks,
screaming at it to shut up...
beating at it with his fists...
and sticking candles up it, but...
nothing did any good,
and the asshole said to him...
"It is you who will shut up in the end, not me...
because we don't need you around here anymore.
I can talk and eat and shit."
After that, he began waking up
in the morning with transparent jelly...
like a tadpole's tail all over his mouth.
He would tear it off his mouth
and the pieces would stick to his hands...
like burning gasoline jelly and grow there.
So, finally, his mouth sealed over...
and the whole head...
would have amputated spontaneously
except for the eyes, you dig?
That's the one thing
that the asshole couldn't do was see.
It needed the eyes.
Nerve connections were blocked...
and infiltrated and atrophied.
So, the brain couldn't give orders anymore.

It was trapped inside the skull...
sealed off.

For a while, you could see...
the silent, helpless suffering
of the brain behind the eyes.

And then finally
the brain must have died...

because the eyes went out...

and there was no more feeling in them
than a crab's eye at the end of a stalk.

老鼠劃的老鼠畫兩幅

近日多手在電腦上劃了兩幅畫。其實分別是依據Monet的La Pie 同Van Gogh 的Starry Night over the Rhone兩幅作品劃出來的﹐自己當然是無法比併大師級的作品﹐可能連藝術學生也好過我﹐不過自己卻很喜歡這兩幅塗鴉。

每幅可花掉約一小時﹐由於用老鼠難以控制位置的準確度﹐劃 impressionism 畫風的作品便免卻了很多煩惱。如果覺得有問題﹐在上面填填劃劃就成。其實很多朋友也看過了﹐放在此不過為了方便我自我滿足一翻﹐哈。小時候作品得到貼堂﹐一方面又有點驕傲﹐一方面又想快點拿回家作珍藏﹐不知是否每個小孩也像我一樣每天也在這麼多矛盾中爭鬥。

噔

如果可以﹐一個音符就是題目。一個琴鍵﹐敲出一個音符﹐震動著不止耳膜﹐還可以是心靈的回響。

看了西口西面這段出櫃影片﹐想起了這段四﹑五年前電視看到搞笑的氣車廣告。其實從來不覺得取向是什麼值得爭議的一回事﹐就像看著兩班人爭鬥著萍果和橙那樣好些一樣荒謬。

電視廣告﹐MTV﹐也是希望用最短的時間﹐去波動人的情感﹐幾十秒的笑話﹐幾分鐘的樂曲﹐描說人生的故事﹐嘲弄實況的無奈。下面這段來自冰島的音樂片段:vidrar vel til loftarasa/天氣適合空襲﹐好幾年前看過後心底泛起很多感覺。



片段內的公仔很詭異﹐是代表了小孩子﹐沒可用自己的眼睛﹐自己的腦袋嗎? 還是被剝奪了思想的權利? 還只是自己心底過份的解讀。鬱鬱不能消散的結局。

咖啡

上個月添置了部expresso 玩具﹐以代替原有的蒸溜滴水式(多謝了Bildub的收購)。如果喜歡咖啡的人﹐沒甚麼可比這機器更濃縮(只有更貴﹑更方便的型號)﹐壓出一杯濃黑如苦茶的液體。第一次接觸的是即溶咖啡﹐對個小孩來說﹐有糖的就已經是好飲品。後來﹐嘗多了點後﹐又覺得那杯飲品總是叫人失望﹐誘人的香氣背後只是糖和奶的味道﹐沒有了那飲品的個人性格。譬說鐵觀音的那種滑香﹐玄米茶的烤米香﹐嗅覺和味覺相對照的。

後來便用了漏滴式的咖啡壺﹐開始發覺當中的味道﹐不是全是那樣騙人﹐用不同的咖啡粉﹐也可做出不同的差別﹐漸漸能沖出味道。例如french vanilla, italian dark roast,... 不斷伸展的名單。起初覺得添了額外的香和味很是特別﹐但添加其他如vanilla和hazelnut的副味只是多餘點綴﹐最終還是咖啡豆本身的質量緊要。那種玻璃壺吸虹式的很有吸引力﹐每次看見也像做個小show﹐不過又似有點不設實際﹐況且知道自己大意﹐為免日後心痛﹐所以從來也沒用過那類壺。之後﹐又用過在stovetop 用的意式壓力壺﹐用滾水的壓力來沖出味道﹐當時來說﹐覺得已滿足﹐而且攜帶方便﹐有次便帶了到深山露營時用﹐的確﹐沒什麼可以更好(哈﹐在深山﹐其實就算是即溶也已可滿足一番)。

至於現代的expresso﹐就要在40 年代中以後工業化有了壓縮活塞以後才出現的產品。用十倍以上的大氣壓力(最好15bar以上)把90±5°C 的熱水壓過微小的咖啡粉末。壓出液體的表面會浮有層獨有的泡末﹐由植物脂﹑蛋白﹑糖﹐乳化和膠體下組成了獨有的標誌。咖啡內有不少複雜而又容易揮發的物質﹐煮好後很容易便會氧化而喪失香氣。冷卻後味道更會變酸﹐如果還想喝﹐其實可手執一小撮鹽搞入(手拈半克已夠)﹐便能平衡了酸味﹐話說如此﹐當然已無可能及新鮮的美味。有些人喝得多會漸漸上癮﹐我見過有人日飲三壺﹐因此也極度克制不會過量﹐不過如果只是輕微上癮﹐用蒸氣打出濃滑的奶泡﹐一早起來沒甚麼可比那味道更好。而且我較喜歡烤得較久的豆﹐香味更濃之餘﹐咖啡因也會受熱力破壞而相對減少。最近嘗的Sumatra Mandeling, Brazil Santos,...也各有千秋。哈﹐至於傳說式全世界最昂貴的"貓屎咖啡"﹐一百克也索價過千元(港紙)﹐在尖沙咀好像也過百七元一杯﹐為了銀包著想﹐我想我喝現時有的品味就已足夠。

暗角裡是陽光

昨夜矇矇矓矓之間﹐起床便踏出房間﹐一經過門檻就回到熟識的地方。很大的房間﹐房中是沒有空間和時間的限制﹐是可以隨著當時意欲轉換的﹐四邊展向也是無止境的永恆。圍著我這空間﹐是無數懸浮著的時空立方。雖然離開我的位置有好一段距離﹐但是每個獨立的立方體也輕輕散發著那生命群的顏色。我處於的房中間是個發著白光的控制台﹐白得可以耀穿實物似的白光﹐卻並不刺眼﹐照到每邊無盡的黑暗中﹐但黑暗也不黑暗﹐帶著生命力溫柔的黑暗(寫到這裡﹐明顯在文字上是矛盾的﹐在現實打著字這刻﹐也是不能存在的。不能存在的﹐是嗎?)。每次回來這房間﹐便可看到所有問題的答案﹐我本來想將這些下載一些帶回現實﹐不過每次也有著同樣結果﹐只要歸還到自己的空間﹐那答案的意識形態也會隨而轉換﹑扭曲到另一個難以辨識的形態。

這個房中也同時很多人在用著﹐不過在我眼內﹐往往也只是一點微微的白光﹐能夠見到整個人形的少之又少。(想到這裡﹐好奇一下﹐究竟自己在那裡對其他人來說是什麼形態?) 在那裡是不用對話的﹐思想就可以溝通﹐一瞬的延續就是永恆。進入那裡﹐就看到現實的全部﹐但所謂全部﹐也是一幅幅的捕捉﹐速度很快﹐可以同時存在但不能同時認知﹐應該屬於每個人身體極限的管轄。在當中﹐做過每個人﹐經過每件事﹐渡過每段時﹐盡興過後﹐輕輕在黑暗中推開回家的門﹐看到日出吐白的藍色陽光。